Sunday 25th May Argeles sur Mer to Collioure

After a sketchy start to the day our luck changes! We have scampered off to Collioure up the road. We park up in a lovely spot in the aire there, but then realise that the tariff in the aire book does not match the actual tariff. You get an hour free but then it’s €15 for 24hrs rather than the 10€ advertised. We have a conflab and a look at the acsi book and realise there is a campsite just around the corner, walking distance to collioure, private beach that is about the same price. We decide to go there instead. Despite only being in the aire for 40mins we get ransomed for the full €15. Much aggrieved and cross we leave anyway. Stupid aire, don’t go there people. Instead go the campsite Les Amandiers. Initial slightly scary narrow access resolves itself into one of the best campsites ever in the world ever. It’s French Mother’s day today and with this being a family run campsite there’re generations of women all about to sit down for lunch. Despite this they greet us like friends, get us settled in and even put the Grand Prix on in the background for our pleasure. By the end of lunch Nonna is braiding Noush’s hair and children are hanging off Moo’s fur and capering about with Norm.

The family are lovely, the campsite is down to earth and peaceful. The Beach is a five minute walk, crystal sea, fishing, Collioure a twenty minute walk, free wifi, great bar, possibly the best food in the restaurant in the form of homemade Catalan specialities (and a large free bowl of cherries from their orchard after lunch), excellent little shop, bread and croissants in the morning, excellent sanitary block (even got a doggy shower!), sun, shade, just perfect. We resolve to stay put for a week and just enjoy it. Why leave paradise when you’ve found it? As a sign from the Gods Noush even manages to catch her own first ever fish. We are indeed being smiled upon J

Moo and Norm mooching on old fortifications

 Our campsite beach

  Cliff top Norm

Art work on the old Bunker

 Collioure and their military training base thingy

Poisson!!

Saturday 24th May Vinca to Argeles Sur Mer

We are a hop and skip away from the coast, it really was an EPIC loop! So we head towards Argeles sur Mer, somewhere we have been before and can trust to provide us with some beach action and a pause in the sun for the weekend, we need a bit of recovery time from giant hop. We have earmarked a couple of ACSI campsites, but as ever with these things sometimes the description doesn’t match the reality! The first one, La Chappelle, might as well have been in the amazon. The tree cover is unrelenting and despite the morning sunshine the entire place is freezing and completely shaded.  

We leave and head next door to Les Pins. This place, initially, seems much better but we soon encounter problems. We chose a sunny pitch of which there are plenty, but the campsite has only been under new ownership for a few years and they are still modernising. We managed to choose the old bit which means that the electricity point thingy for hook up won’t work without an adapter. Other campsites we have stayed on with this issue usually keep a supply on hand to lend out, this campsite offers to sell us one. Not only do they want 12€ (nearly as much as the pitch!), but it’s also the wrong one. Smooth. We make noises about leaving, but then Frederick finds us another pitch with functioning lec. The new pitch is nice, close to all the amenities i.e. sanitary block, bar, wifi etc etc. Things are looking up. Then they look down again. The wifi doesn’t work, the sanitary block is only half open and sill sort of being built and the bar is open rarely and with little stock. Major fail all round really. This campsite will be lovely when it is finished, but don’t bother going there until it is! The pool however, is lovely, but not really a priority when you’ve got the beach just there. We are not impressed and leave the next day. Campsite non fonctione.

Friday 23rd May Douillhac to Vinca Via Mont Louis, Grimbsby and just about everywhere else

We are off to Quillan today, or so we thought. Upon arrival we discover that the Aire we had hoped to stay in has been commandeered for the whole weekend for the annual Horse Fair. Quillan has nowhere left to park that is anyway enticing and we don’t fancy being snuggled up to horses and hoards of people all weekend – especially with a certain something’s propensity for barking. We go for plan b which is to move onto the start of a big loop south towards Mont Louis. This loop becomes something of a mission as nobody warned us that once you start you literally can’t stop, there are no laybys, aires or anything. Not even any passing spaces it would seem. Very eek roads…

When we finally get to the end of this rather tortuous drive everyone is somewhat done in and, loathe though we are to say it, the end is totally not worth it. The landscape is barren and bleak and resembles nothing so much as an abandoned mining site. We push on manfully to Mont Louis which also turns out to be somewhat disappointing – think bleak Alaskan outpost. 

Despite hours on the road we make the executive decision to scarper. We beat a not-so-very hasty retreat (13km of hairpins anyone) and reach the sanctuary of the N116 and zoom to Vinca. We arrive safe and in one piece and have a major collapso onto camp chairs outside in the late afternoon sun. Vinca has a glorious lake/reservoir with beaches and campsites dotted alongside, the town itself is small with a Spanish feel to it, we admire all from afar and rejoice in being back in the land of the beautiful scenery and civilised accessibility. Phew. 

Thursday 22nd May Narbonne to Duilhac sous Peyrepertuse

We decide we have had enough of city life and hurricanes and decide to head towards the country and follow the wine and Cathar trail. The drive is spectacular and with every mile south east the weather improves. We are presented with glorious views of vines and castles, all drenched in sunshine. 

We climb one of the hairiest hills we have encountered so far (don’t look down!) and arrive at Duilhac which, it transpires, has the most glorious aire.

More by luck than judgment we manage to snaffle the best spot and settle in for some serious basking. We are so high up yet we still nestle under towering mountains and the castle itself 3km above. The mountains green, the sky deep blue, the village sleepy and stoney all is quiet and peaceful. Even Norm. Able Seaman moo is prancing around like a puppy catching flies, glad to be back on land.

Perched on top of the picnic table, while the aire is still quiet, Noush gives Jon a haircut which of course results in an instant influx of fellow campers all much amused. We spend a thoroughly relaxing day here in the sunshine, but as the evening draws in the weather catches us up again. We have nipped out to get supplies (we fail.. 2€50 for ONE bottle of takeaway beer…??? Don’t think so) and get caught in a sudden torrential downpour, despite racing back to Valerie everybody is drenched. No matter though, everybody happy and what’s a little weather with such in incredible view…

Wednesday 21st May Sigean to Narbonne

The weather is cloudy and a bit rubbish today, but we’re not bothered as we’re off to the city! We take small diversion en route to check out Peyriac, but we park up in the aire and are immediately told off, for no evident reason, by some interfering old French A-hole so we don’t even bother turning the engine off and just leave. We find the aire in Narbonne without incident and a very civilised affair it is indeed: Carrefour enorme and Mcdonalds around the corner one way and town a ten minute walk the other – with a free bus if you need. For some reason every other camper is parked on one side of the car park and it’s just us and one other on our side – what do they know that we don’t know??

The weather is looking ever more threatening so we decide to go straight into Narbonne before it gets really bad – the forecast is grim for later. Narbonne is beautiful even when overcast, the place des Halles is a wondrous place full of yummies and small little bar café type places where you can sample the wares and enjoy the paper at the same time – very civilised. Unfortunately we are not civilised to join as we have two wagging dogs waiting patiently outside, we buy something unidentifiable and delicious for us all to share on the wall outside.

After ‘lunch’ we wander around Narbonne enjoying the sights, it’s got a really lovely feel to the place and despite its long history has a distinctly boho and young vibe. Jon finds his niche…

We pop into the ‘Le France’ bar for a swifty and discover we have fallen into the most popular bar/restaurant in town it would seem. Everywhere else is quiet, but this place is packed and continues to fill up. When we see the plates of food that are coming out of the kitchen we are not surprised.. they look and smell heavenly! Norm practically turns himself inside out trying to inveigle his way inside. Anyway… rain threatens so we decide to beat a retreat to Valerie. This turns out to be a good decision as shortly after our arrival chez nous the weather takes a serious turn for the worse – severe weather warnings are issued to the team and we batten down like mad… 100kmh winds ahoy!

It turns out this is serious wind. Sitting in the powder room (proper posh here) the van is being rocked from side to side. It is actually akin to being on a boat. After a prolonged stint I begin to feel seasick such is the violence of the wind. Such is the gravity of the situation I decide to call a second severe weather warning to all on board. Troops informed we all hunker down and ride out the storm. Admiral Norman seems completely unperturbed and oversees operations from the Bridge, valiantly assisted by Anouska

As the storm continues to rage on, not everyone has the stomach for the conditions it transpires. Able Seaman Moo flees below decks and hides under the table for the duration. Sea legs not with him yet we assume.

Fellow camper van types are all in the same boat (ahem); satellite dishes are being lowered at pace, awnings reeled in, everybody parked up in a row resembling tiny armoured armadillos – perhaps this is why everybody was parked next to each other… shelter? We watch on the news that he wind has knocked out the electricity in 28000 homes, severe weather warning indeed. Hard to believe we’re on the med!

Tuesday 20th May Marseillan Plage to Sigean

Our plans to leave are somewhat stymied this morning. We have packed up Valerie but she is in a snit and refuses to start. Once again the trusty European AA come to our rescue – their drivers are amazing, zooming down the narrow campsite lanes with nary a qualm – no worries with overhanging trees for these boys – Campers watch and learn. Fortunately all that’s wrong with Valerie is a flat battery, but Monsiuer AA declares that “il est mort” and we actually need a new one if we are to have any hope of holing up for a couple of days without it dying on us. So.. we head off to Narbonne Accessories in Beziers to go and get ourselves a new one. This is duly accomplished with relatively little pain, although we had to bribe one of their mechanics to fit it! Fitting a new battery isn’t hard normally; unscrew, disconnect, lift out, replace, reconnect rescrew. , but Valerie has so many funky connections for water pumps and such like that we gladly shell out the extra €20. 

Superzoomed up we head towards Narbonne for a heavy culture hit. While navigating the outskirts of Narbonne we find another, considerably bigger, arm of Narbonne Accessories – the mother ship we think. We pop in to ask about a couple of other problems that Valerie has encountered and we are put in the safe hands of what all talented mechanics across the world seem to look like: dreadlocked, skate shoes, threadbare surf t-shirt, with his own old VW clapped out van that still works perfectly. This is one of those moments when you know that even it’s completely heath robinson the fix will work. Sure enough, within the hour Valerie is not only fixed but the original design considerably improved upon. Merci Monsiuer (big shout out to S.O.S camping car). 

Much as this has been successful we are a bit wiped out having spent the day either on the road in the garage an neither of us can face the metrop so we decide to hideaway in a French passion for the night and do Narbonne tomorrow.  There is a French passion not very far away in Sigean and we arrive to find a really lovely peaceful little secluded hotel/restaurant. Alain, the owner, is lovely and waves us around the corner to go and park up on a large stretch of immaculate shady lawn. Ideal! Dogs loose, pichet of wine from Alain, everybody happy (except Alain’s wife for whom the wind seems to have changed at the wrong moment). After a mooch around Sigean we plot our assault on Narbonne and then retire for the night.

Wednesday 14th May to Tuesday 20th May Marseillan plage

Heatwave, sun, waves, oh and some phoning of garages and things. It’s not so bad. Not much to say really, you all know about Marseillan plage already. What we didn’t anticipate was TOO MUCH NAKED and hurricane smash it up.

Our first wedding anniversary was over the weekend and on the Saturday we decided to take a nice romantic stroll down the beach to Cap D’Agde and have some lunch out. As it turns out the only thing out on our walk was a sausage fest and neither of us had the good old French merguez as our dish of choice.

We knew there was a nudist beach some way down the coast and we successfully navigate the first part of the beach. Neither of us have an issue with the naturist lark, but why do they insist on making such a deal about it? Very few seemed to be sunbathing or lying talking to their loved ones, reading the latest Jackie Collins, instead they all hung (sorry) around in groups, posturing madly and looking menacing because you haven’t whipped off your ferret pants. Still, worse was to greet us just around the corner.

As it turned out we had stumbled into a naturist village. This was an enormous sprawling small town purely catering for the naked delights of mainly middle aged fat German people. Yummy. As we attempted to navigate this compound, which was heavily guarded by menacing security types the piece de resistance greeted us in the mall area behind the beach. Some oldish chap, meat and two veg out for all and sundry to see got out of his car and headed into the opticians. Oh the irony. You really couldn’t make it up. We soon began to realise that these were people who took nakedness very seriously. The compound thingy had restaurants, bars, shops of all types, nightclubs even its own marina. Everything.  Walking past a bar trying to navigate our way out people were seemingly naked having a drink. ‘Will that be on the rocks Sir?’ ‘er….in the glass will do please….’

Finally we manage to extricate ourselves and try and work out where the ‘real’ town is. Miles later we finally begin to see signs of civilisation and it’s fully clothed. Yay!! We go for a delicious lunch (no sausages!) in the marina port area, turns out Cap D’Agde is actually pretty cool. A leisurely wander around and then we ask directions from a shop owner as how to walk back with minimal nakedness involved, understandably this sends him into gales of laughter and he wishes us a bon voyage of ‘if you can’t beat them, just join them!’. He is still chortling as we walk away.  

We reckon if we can just get back on the beach then we’re sorted. This proves impossible. Unbelievable. The only access to the stretch of beach that we need to be on is more heavily guarded than the…erm.. crown jewels.  

For the privilege of taking our clothes off and accessing the beach they want nearly €20. We’ve seen enough anyway and get a cab, supplied by the superbly named ‘joe le taxi’. We arrive back at camp, back to normality, haunted by the surreal nature of a totally naked town. Apologies Norm, far too young for that kind of thing, but what a crack….sorry J

A restorative champagne toast to our anniversary cheers everybody up, thanks to next door for taking the photo (Mr Next door has a Hook Norton hoody would you believe, used to work around the corner – small world!!). Thank you everyone for all your lovely messages…Bottoms up!

Next day the weather turns savage….

Everybody damp and cosied up…we make plans to leave.