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Hello France! – 23rd July


Or more to the point, hello Calais. Made it out of the docks to surprisingly beautiful Calais, but is Onzo fixed….? Decide to go for breakfast in Calais, just an hour or so (or so we thought).. check state of leak.. get some serious coffee down and then zoom!

Calais…6 hours later, still bloody there

Major lap top fail results in long protracted incomprehensible phone calls to banking institutions (read India) and the mother of all arguments. Onzo still appears to be leaking. Miles travelled on French soil: approximately 5, leaks: 1, arguments: 1. Not beautiful Calais. GRR. Decide to leave Calais and make a break south anyway. Test Onzo, change of scene. Oui.

Failing to Leave Calais

It is officially impossible to leave Calais. All roads lead to Calais, not Rome. They lied. Miles travelled: about a million (all in sodding Calais), Leaks: daren’t look, Arguments: commensurate with mileage.

Failing to get anywhere

Noush risks eviction and undertakes map reading. Every. Single. Sodding. Road. Closed. All systems critical including petrol (unless you’re going uphill, in which case the tank appears to be full. Love Onzo.)

Van Fail 6

Hate Onzo. Leaking heap of sh*t. Carry on regardless.  Beer essential at this point.

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