Before departure however, we decide to make the most of the lack
of people up and about and attempt poo clear out. Since we started we haven’t
a) worked out how to do it and b) wanted to (would you?) Now however we have no
choice. We head the 50yds down the road with great trepidation. No one else seems
to be awake so if we have an embarrassing fail we can scarper. Both of us are
nervous as we reverse Onzo into the designated Camping Car service bay thingy.
The operation should be straight forward in theory. Underneath the
van are two outlet pipes. One for grey water (camping car terminology there –
smooth huh?) i.e. shower water and the other outlet is the dreaded pipe de merde.
Clip on another pipe that attaches to a box the size of a large jerry can (approx.
30 litres) and Roberts your Dads brother – you’re ready to pull out the red pin
that turns out the Tom Tit into the box. (Oddly pulling the pin out is how I imagine
you’d feel when you lob a grenade and frankly not dissimilar in effect). A
final glance between us, the knowing nod and we go for the pin. Reassuring
sounds of unmentionables flowing from A to B signal success. But then, catastrophe
strikes. Squirts (The irony is strong here) of nasty things are coming from the
top of the poo box. It doesn’t take long for us to realise the holding tank in
the van is considerably larger than the box. This is very bad. It’s raining and
we are both effectively covered in shite. A brave hand shoots under the Van disconnects
and the remaining effluent is deposited in the service bay (gazelle like leaps
from us to avoid splashback!). Now however, we click like clockwork – the like
of which only happens when you are in the brown and nasty. I go for the box and
empty it down the designated waste hole and Noush is furiously hosing down the service
bay. We fill the Van with water, take a dip in the lake to cleanse our souls
and leave – quickly. Despite the minor catastrophe we are celebrating. The
burden and mystery of the poo tank is solved. We and Onzo (who is considerably lighter)
head for the AutoRoute to Annecy. Poo Success! Zoom!
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