With
great regret I report a further Van fail. Not so much the Van’s fault this
time, but user error. Still, it qualifies. It’s the Van and it’s a fail.
It
goes something like this. We set off for the shop (ok, well the bar really),
all pre-flight checks are complete (this involves moving breakable things and
stashing them safely before moving). Half way to the destination there’s an
almighty crash. Nothing visible has malfunctioned or fallen off. What has
happened now ffs!?? We stop in the nearest available layby and discover to our
horror that the long window above the cab (next to the bed) has parted company
with the Van, landed in the road and smashed. The reason why is immediately
apparent. It was left open before leaving. School boy error. This is not great
news.
The
bad news is further compounded by the potential cost of replacement. New ones
are not available, second hand only if you get really lucky and can wait
indefinitely. Made to measure is an option, but they have to be made in the UK
and the cost has the same effect on you as the first morning espresso.
Step
forward Walter and Nico (fishing rod bloke from the bar). Local mechanic Walter
(who is giving the Van the once over) says he can do the job providing we can
get the window. We visit the window shop in town, suggested by him clutching
the measurements. Closed until 26th August. At this point, dejected
and desperate we decide to get a quick medicinal beer on board at the Nazionale
to console ourselves. Then, lady luck shines on us again in the form of Nico,
who just on cue rolls round the corner on his bike. We explain the problem and,
of course, “is no problem’’. Upon walking into the Ferramenta (a smelting iron monger
type place that also sells windows??) Nico demands that all work ceases and
that our window is sorted ‘Subito!’ (this means ‘Immediately!’) We learn that
this is Nico’s modus operandum. He says ‘Subito!’ and people leap to obey.
Brilliant. The man is a star. Half an hour later we are in the possession of
the newly cut, made to measure window. He even rounded off the edges! Is there
nothing this man can’t do??!
It
turns out there really is nothing that Nico can’t do? Not only has he rustled
up a fishing rod and a window within moments of being asked, but he has also
successfully sourced a scooter for Noush’s mum and today, well, he found us
vermeeze!
Vermeeze
are in fact worms. We asked Nico which was the best bait to use for fishing in
the Bormida and it turns out that vermeeze, along with mice, are best. He then drags Noush off to the fishing
shop, to purchase vermeeze and mice, which it transpires are worms and
sweetcorn. The poor owner of the fishing shop had just closed up and was
actually in his car, outside his shop, about to leave. Nico, one hand on the
car door, insists that the man gets out of his car, opens his shop and sells us
some vermeeze and mice, subito!! Despite the poor man’s protestations that he
has closed for ten days and so everything is locked away, there’s no till, he
can’t give a change, Nico is not taking no for an answer. Two minutes later, we
are the proud new owners of some vermeeze and mice. Never mind Jim, Nico will
fix it. He the man.